31
March
2008
As my readers will gather from my web site, I’m really into seasons and transitioning from one season to a next. I can give presentations that will pump everyone up about all the possibilites for their lives.
In order to be authentic and genuine, I would have to pass if someone asked me to present on the topic of “Keeping Your Joy Alive in Tax Season”. Yes, I could speak on that topic, but it really wouldn’t address viable solutions. This is a “Have To” duty for me. The word taxes drains me. The real me hates paper work and going on a scavenger hunt for lost receipts. In coaching we learned to ask people “Why?” when someone complains or states “I have to…..”. As I work with clients, the become programed to see that phrase as a red light mantra with a plethora of limiting beliefs buried under the statement.
To empower a person, who feels the dread of a task, Martha Beck taught her coaches to suggest that the people we work with “bag it” “barter it” or “better it”. I certainly want to “bag it” and save that task for a rainy day, so would I refer to myself as a procrastinator. Absolutely, when it comes to certain types of paper work, which don’t energize me then I’m very capable of “bagging it” or “procrastinate”.
This could be the start of a lifelong limiting thought, if I pick up that statement and apply it to all areas of my life. When I want to get something done that has me jazzed, I’ll go for it and there is nothing in my behavior that even resembles procrastination. If I claim the label of “Oh I’m a procrastinater. You need to get someone else for that”, then I’m setting up a limiting thought which could keep giving throughout a life time.
It’s simply not true about me. What might be a better turn around statement is: “I tend to delay projects that involve paper work .” That rings true and I accept that I’m wired that way.
There is a very good reason why I didn’t major in accounting or economics. I do “barter” my taxes by hiring an accountant. However, I have to do my part in organizing receipts, tax forms, etc. I rented a DVD to placate my rebellious spirit into having a bit of fun while organizing my stuff for the tax man.
Anyone else out there with thoughts on “Limiting Thoughts” and or “Warm Fuzzies re: Paying Taxes?”
Posted: Life Coaching through My Blog
27
March
2008
I’ll never forget the day, March 23, 2006. My sister was the first to call that morning. Since I have a chronic pain condition, she quizzed me about my health. Somehow it didn’t seem right to burden me with bad news, even though she would end up telling me anyway.
She started by saying, “Something weird has happened. Matthew Winkler was murdered yesterday.” I had trouble processing the sentence, because the words “Winkler and Murder” didn’t even appear to fit within the same context. Then all of the sudden, she alerted me to turn on “Fox News” as the story was just starting to break in the media.
We both saw the picture of the family standing proudly and happily together. Together, we both let out these involuntary shrieks. While attending our Uncle’s funeral in October of 2005, we had all had our picture taken in front of one of the sprays. My cousin Mike’s wife, Pam, took pictures of all of us that day, because this was one of those rare times when cousins and all of the Winklers on my Uncle Wendell’s side of the family were together. We actually watched the picture being taken. The whole “backstory” of the last time we saw Matthew flooded our memories.
The rest of the day, my phone rang continually and the Inbox of my e-mail account was full. I directed everyone to pray for Mary’s safety and the safety of the three precious girls. We were all well aware of the fact that this event could end in further tragedy. Speculation was shared among family members and the most logical conclusion was that someone, who had visited Matthew’s office for counsel, may have been extremely unstable and possibly regretted or was threatened by what was shared. Then this person may have snapped and killed Matthew and took Mary and the children as captives. No one knew……………. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: Articles
21
March
2008
To prepare for another try at losing weight, I really wanted to stop the insanity (doing the same things the same way over and over again even though they don’t work. I’m stilll in the losing game and accepting my body’s own pace in the process.. Reviewing what worked well and didn’t work well in other attempts at weight loss, I had a game plan before starting. Here are the top ten things I’ve done differently, as I continue to be a life long learner, and consider wellness a goal worth working for.
- Set aside time to consider why do I need nourishment when I’m not hungry. Just to breathe slowly and ask myself what I really wanted, gave me the break I needed to stop an emotional eating binge. In the final assessment I realized that each time I wanted to eat to tackle a hurt, my hunger was more of a spiritual hunger and a true need to pursue a relationship with God. There is a bestseller by Elizabeth Gilbert called “Eat Pray Love”. A memoir related to my prior weight loss attempts could easily have been titled “Eat, Eat, Eat, Eat More and Pray”. Sorry to be cliche’ but “God really is the wind beneath my wings” and humbly asking for help via prayer is an invaluable source of comfort and true help to reach wellness. Leaving God out and going for the goal on my own just doesn’t work. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: Tales from the Scales
20
March
2008
In January I proudly began life as a blogger, by sharing my New Year’s Resolution to go for the same goal, but in a different way. This was the year that I was really truly honestly going to lose weight. Does that sound familiar? Has anyone else been there?
Now that we’ve almost finished the 1st quarter of 2008, I decided to do a bit of self-evaluation. It’s March 17th and I’m still focused and losing. Have I been the perfect model for the perfect dieter? NO! NOT EVEN CLOSE! However, despite binges, Girl Scout Cookies, restaurant splurges, chronic pain and a major life change; I’m still in the race. So, what’s the difference with this go round? This time I invited my mind to become involved.
Viewing my new resolve to get into a healthy weight zone as a gift to myself called “Wellness” definitely is a reframe that led to a huge attitude shift. We inherited some oil landscapes of the Southwest from a darling departed aunt. I liked the paintings, but the frames didn’t match our furnishings and were truly “downright ugly”. It was worth the time I spent at “Aaron Brother’s ” tediously selecting just the right colors and textures for the new frames. When I picked up the newly reframed paintings, it was like seeing our aunt’s work for the first time. Her sweet paintings were absolutely spectacular. Reframing is huge and can be applied to all your life goals….even weight loss.
Prior to changing my eating habits I spent five months getting my mind in gear for the process. Just as if I were training for a marathon, I went through a brain marathon of rewiring I borrowed many of the pages from Martha Beck’s “The Four Day Win”. This is an awesome book that approaches weight loss as highly dependent on reprograming the brain. So what’s different this time………. Later today….Top Ten Changes….. (By the way, I’m not just giving a thumbs up to the book, because I’m a Martha Beck Coach. It really does work).
Posted: Tales from the Scales
9
March
2008
Several of my posts have addressed terms from the book The Secret. Before I had heard of that book, I really had never considered terms like the “law of attraction”. Well, I had, but I thought of it in terms of male/female chemistry, if you catch my drift.
I mentioned in an earlier post that “The Law of Attraction” really works when one is operating from “Your Core of Peace”. Now the big question is “How in the world do I get there?” Great question and I wish I could answer it by directing you to “Mapquest” or “Yahoo Maps”.
“Alas, the answer to a tremendously complex question is simple, but wrong.” I borrowed that quote from someone and really love it. Of course, the point being that unless one has fully evolved and been through some rugged terrain in the school of life, it’s almost impossible to really become in your “Core of Peace.”
When I was in high school, I had great friends and good times. I truly was happy. However, that is the false happiness of youth and a few rough jolts and I was no longer a very happy camper.
The following suggestions borrowed heavily from the wisdom of others and some hard won wisdom of my own are offered to show you that this state of being is available to every living person. It’s never too late to go for it.
1. Live one day at a time. Jesus even commanded this in the Bible reminding the masses that were drawn to him to “Do not worry about tommorow. Today’s concerns are enough. “
Those of us, who try to live as Christians, believe that Christ was divine and had a straight line of communication with God. Our creator certainly gave us a brain quite capable of worrying. Yet, we are commanded not to worry.
2. The way to the Law of Attraction seems to call for going through a really tough “life trial”. Martha Beck refers to this point of the path as moving from the shallows (happy with surface life) into the “Ring of Fire”. I’ve heard it referred to as the “Refiner’s Fire”. Oh the pain and the misery seem to the point of unbearable, when we’re going through this rough time. In my life, I’ve experienced heartache to the point that I was convinced that God hated me or had no use for me. (Definitely a Limiting Belief). I didn’t think that I’d survive the emotional and physical pain of living in high chronic pain for unending months. Yet, I did and as I’ve mentioned before……I came out of the ordeal with a different character. If you’re reading this and feel that you’re “smack dab” in the middle of the “Ring of Fire”, remind yourself that there will be better days. It’s hard to believe, but it will give you comfort if you can hold onto that thought.
3. Learning to be content and truly wanting to be a light to bless the world is part of the mindset that naturally comes with “Inner Peace”. I began to live with a spirit of contentment when I realized that my character makeover had equiped me to battle whatever came my way. During a tough time, my spirit feels this tremendous inner peace, because I know that I’m being taken care of by the divine. When I begin to worry, this is such a contrast to my usual state of being that I have to stop and pay attention.
“Where did that feeling..that thought come from?”. I’ve usually made a decision that isn’t right and my body compass is telling me that I need to navigate in a “Northern Direction”.
Martha Beck points out that human beings usually start from a point of neediness and maybe a materialistic bent, as we try to achieve or attract things into our life. She refers to this as being in the “Shallows”. The law of attraction rarely and usually never works if it’s based on stress, fear, neediness, self absorption. After we triumped through “the ring of fire”, the hard won wisdom gives us a character makeover called “the core of peace”.
The truth is that we attract what we need from “the core of peace”. It could be something of material value, but it comes to you as you are being a light to use your gift to make the world a better place.
I’d love to hear how some of you have been impacted, as you’ve learned to live in the “Core of Peace”. It’s such a cool way to live and there is no way to purchase your way into this state of being and contentment.
Mary Ann
Posted: Articles, Life Coaching through My Blog
6
March
2008
Okay, amazing, my futuristic post written on Sunday proved to be right. In the meantime, I also learned that Rush Limbaugh was encouraging Republican voters to cross party lines and vote in the Democratic primary. The win wasn’t a landslide, but she had enough of an edge that she managed to win the primary in the mega state of Texas.
I asked my parents, who were never fans of Ms. Clinton or Mr. Clinton, whether they voted Democratic. They are very strong in their position of favoring the Republican platform. Fearing that she might actually be able to pull off a national election win, they just ethically couldn’t vote for her.
This truly isn’t about politics. I was really pleased that they voted according to their real genuine authentic viewpoint (the life coach has to weigh in somewhere). Seriously though, IMHO, no matter the status of the world, it will always be right to go with what you know to be right and honest in your heart. That’s a very naive innocent point of view. I’ve definitely heard from more than one person that I’m way too trusting and project my wishes on what I hope would be reality.
However, I truly do believe that there is a God in Heaven. That’s the vocabulary I use to refer to the deity based on my faith heritage. Whether we refer to God, as God, the divine, the Universe, the Deity, Higher Power, etc.; I genuinely believe that we have a loving God, who would love nothing more than for all of us to act out of hearts to do what we know what is right.
We’re looking for the right person to save America to correct the wrongs, to pass the right laws. I’m in favor of all of that. However, I feel that it’s actually more naive to put our trust in one person, who we elect to be our future president, to fix all that is wrong with our country.
We need each other to examine our actions and assess if we’re really behaving according to our honest authentic inner knowing. If we all began to act out of integrity, vote for who we truly believed in, listened to the messages we receive to guide us to our purpose; we would possess an incredible power as a country.
<>It seemed fascinating to me that people were going to vote for a candidate, who they didn’t believe in to accomplish a goal to put a Republican in the White House. Some did, because they felt that they must as they reasoned that this is the way the system works. Did they do wrong?
<>Too many people could throw stones at me for my own weaknesses, so I surely have no right to judge others. I just think we all need to realize that our system is one that calls for a game plan to win. People feel a need to control what they can, because they don’t trust the outcome without having a winning strategy.
<>The right to vote is a privilege. What can we do to see it as a privilege and not as a strategy? Can we get the America back that was based on the vision of our founding fathers?
Opinions anyone??????
Mary Ann
<>
Posted: Political Lamentations
2
March
2008
Hello!
Duh! How can I write a futuristic headline? Do I have a clue what is going to happen in my native state of Texas on Tuesday? Not Really.
No headline, but I’m doin’ a bit of speculating based on a hunch. In a conversation with another native Texan, he was fairly certain that Senator Clinton would win the Texas Primary. I had a million and one reasons why that wouldn’t happen. Texans have great memories and many resented her active role as first lady. There were many that didn’t appreciate President Clinton’s moral values and felt he definitely showed a lack of respect for the oval office. I could go on and on about why Texans would never vote for Hillary.
However, this is a primary and not the election. Americans love to win, but to Texans winning is of extreme importance. People still get goose bumps talking about when Texas beat Arkansas in the last few seconds of the game for the National Championship. James Street was the quarterback and Darrell Royal was the Head Coach for the University of Texas. That was in 1969 before many of this year’s eligible voters had even made an entrance in the world.
My friend reminded me that Texans like to have a winning strategy or game plan. Many Republicans register as Democrats to vote in the democratic primary. Okay, and your point is?? I still hadn’t connected the dots. Basically, there are quite a few Texans that want to keep a Republican in the White House in 2009. Who has the best chance of beating McCain??? In the assessment of some key figures, Obama has the best chance of defeating McCain and becoming our next President.
Therefore, the game plan on election day may involve going back ten yards and punting in the opposite direction to give Mc Cain the best chance of winning the presidency. The most strategic means of getting the job done would be to vote for Hillary in the Texas Democratic Primary. This win and a win in Ohio might give her delegates needed to be the Democratic nominee.
I should probably stick to life coaching topics and exploring ideas to make living easier. However, I do find this possible Texas strategy for primary voting to be interesting. I certainly never thought of voting in the primary as a strategic means to capture the White House by a Republican.
Is my friend’s opinion accurate? I have no idea. However, if Senator Clinton does pull off a mega win in Texas, I would certainly love to hear what folks have to say in the exit polls.
Politics has become dirty business. I don’t really know any of the candidates besides how they come across in debates and sound bites. However, this probably isn’t even close to who they really are as people. My wish is that we could start afresh and give the country back to hard working Americans. It cost tons of money to run for a federal government office. Unless our neighbor manages to attract backers with money, he/she doesn’t have a chance. I doubt that some of our more admired respected presidents like, Abraham Lincoln, would have what it takes to be elected today.
Whatever happens in Texas and Ohio, I feel that I don’t have much of a voice in our country except with my one vote. Perhaps Texans will have a strategic game plan, but will it make a huge difference…..I’d love to see change happen, as Americans pull together….not as corporations…but as individuals to back what we want to see happen in our country. I think that’s the way that we’re really going to win and accomplish anything in our nation’s capitol.
Just my opinion. Let me know yours.
Mary Ann
Posted: Political Lamentations
1
March
2008
Floating around in our minds without our knowledge or conscientious awareness are cascades of words, statements, views, opinions, truths, etc.; which you’ve accepted as truth.
Sadly, many of us go through life never taking the time or the energy examining a thought or an opinion about ourselves to see if it really has any substance.
While the “It Topic” is “Being Green” and focusing on “environmental friendliness, is certainly a cause that we need to take seriously. We’re stewards of the planet. Future generations will benefit from our intentional decisions to take care of planet earth.
Generational thoughts and beliefs are also passed through the generations through our family systems. We are what we know to be true. Children are raised based on what their parents know about good parenting. This knowledge was obtained by remembering their childhood. In some cases, the parental style was so dysfunctional that the parents choose another style, but a more permissive style of parenting may not be the answer to preventing old toxic beliefs and patterns.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: Articles
