23
July
2008
The topic mentioned in the post title is absolutely is easy to write about. However, the “doing” it is the hard part. Yet, it really is possible to remain in a state of joy even when you’re having an incredibly rough time dealing with the woes of a horrendous economy. Some states are feeling the pain more than others. I happen to live in CA and every day I hear about people, who are dealing with some kind of loss due to the hardships.
Loss is real and everytime you lose something it is totally okay to grieve. Grief is a normal and healing response to any kind of loss. Even if the loss isn’t a person, who is near and dear to you, it’s still a loss and is worthy of taking the time to grieve it. ..
It’s easy to tell yourself to “Get over it already. It was just a house. or It’s only a job…or it’s only a car!” Even if you’re so grateful that you still have family and health, take the time and give yourself time to grieve. That’s part of healing and joy enters the picture, if we’ve taken the time to let the tears flow”.
Write in your journal. Discuss your thoughts. Check your body’s response. Pushing through a crisis may work for a short time, but your body has a way of letting you know that “You haven’t done your homework” Dealing with the grief is part of your process. Our body’s are programmed to be true to the real you. If you’ve neglected to deal with waves of grief, your body may become ill, you’ll start to feel fatigue and you may have a knot in your stomach or tight shoulders. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: Life Coaching through My Blog
10
July
2008
If you live long enough, chances are that you will suffer emotionally. That’s part of the human condition and living on planet earth. While life definitely has its highs, you may find yourself stuck in a valley with no exit map. At least in your mind, that is the case. I use to hang on to a story regarding suffering and live in perpetual anxiety. I called this article “Letting Joy Nourish Your Soul” for one reason. “Letting” is a word that indicates that you have a choice. I’m going through a rough period in my own life. It’s summer, but I can easily get lost in the darkness of this winter season. The self coaching that I discussed in the last two entries were examples of ways that I have absolutely been my own best friend. Of course, the circumstances are going to bring about some gnarly thoughts. However, my new role is to determine if the thought is based on reality or on my own story. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: Life Coaching through My Blog
2
July
2008
Yesterday, I was so full of hope and just knew that my body was lighter. However, the scales had a different idea. I had put on weight. GRRRRR!
My thoughts were enough to cause me to stop at a “See’s Candy Store” and devour a whole box…..until…..I took the time to recognize the circumstance: I was three pounds heavier.
Thoughts: It’s hopeless. I’ll never lose weight. This is a cruel process. It’s not fair. I do everything right and what do I get for my efforts….the scales pointing in the wrong direction. I’ll be in chronic pain forever.
Feelings: Waaaaayyy over the top! Shame, Hopelessness, Heartbroken, Dejected, Frightened
Action: I allowed myself to cry. I was truly upset. I wrote in my journal. I begged God to please reverse this trend. I looked longingly at the candy store, but didn’t stop.
Result: I soaked my sorrows by downing to full glasses of ice water. Shocking! I know!
Again, this is another example of self-coaching. The thoughts brought intense feelings of suffering. Did the feelings lead to a destructive result? No, fortunately, I didn’t down a box of candy. Last year at this time, that would have been the favored solution. The feelings were so “out of proportion” to the three pound gain that this stopped a familiar neural loop. “Danger! Body Attack..Defeated by the Scales Again! Must stop NOW to eat and deal with this tragedy!”
This was a bummer…not a tragedy. I’ve seen tragedy and am very well aware of the difference. So…..I did another round of self coaching and changed the thought.
Circumstance: I gained three pounds according to the scale.
Thought: It could be water retention. I did eat a half bag of almond; maybe that had something to do with it. I really do turn to food when I’m stressed.
Feelings: Sad, powerless,
Action: What I am doing isn’t working? Moved out of denial mode. Really admitted that I turned to food to handle feelings that lead to suffering.
Results: Attended my first 12 Step meeting. I really am powerless to deal with this addiction to food. I’m more than happy to rely on God. Since I’m a Christian, I chose to attend “Celebrate Recovery”.
Stay tuned. I’m working on “Denial”. You’ve probably heard the famous quote “Denial truly isn’t just a river in Egypt.”
If you’ve ever attended a 12 Step program for anything and everything, let me know about your experience. You don’t have to use your real name.
Also, if any of my readers would care for a free self-coaching session, please e-mail me and we’ll set up a time to talk.
My most reliable e-mail is malowry@cox.net
Blessings,
Mary Ann
Posted: Tales from the Scales
