24
June
2009
I love it when people send me private e-mails asking me to address topics that may be ignored.
I don’t work in the corporate world. However, I’ve worked in enough school settings to realize that the work is often stressful due to the treatment experienced by employees. In just about every setting,of work environment, there is a huge issue with bullying in the work place.
Help me understand something. I love and applaud a corporations efforts to “Go Green” Doing what we can to be stewards of the plantet is of utmost importance.
Yet, these same corporations, work settings, who let the world know that they are “Going Green”, don’t appear to be concerned about the spirits of their most important resource, the human resource.
What do I mean by Cultivating a Green Mindset? I’m asking everyone to consider that your words, deeds, and treatment to colleagues or remaining staff can either preserve and inspire the human spirit ……OR…..the behavior in the workplace can be downright toxic to the human spirit. In private e-mails I have been asked to cover the topic of “bullying in the work place” Those who survived the downsizing and managed to stay employed may appear to be quite fortunate. However, the angst related to the economy seems to produce a breeding ground for taking out frustrations on colleagues or staff, who work under your leadership.
The frustration is totally understanding. Yet, behaving and speaking in a way that is toxic to the human spirit is seen as okay in our society. A company would receive bad press for practices that destroy the earth and are not “Planet friendly.
Yet, the way you are treated at work or the way that you treat others may need to be held to the same high standard. People are suffering needlessly, because of the abuse of power. Angling to save your position may lead otherwise sensitive kind people to induge in cut throat behavior.
Pay attention to your behavior. It starts with you and with me. Really listen to your words. Are my words designed to build up the psyche of my colleagues?
Are my words and actions actually toxic to the human spirit?
Would you want to be treated, as your colleagues are being treated at work?
Would you throw an empty can or water bottle out your window or onto an open area? I am so programmed to recycle that it truly bothers me if I can’t find a recycle disposal.
What would our lives be like, if our behavior were programmed to “Save our Spirits”. What if you made the same effot to avoid any and all behaviors that were toxic to the human spirit?
That is what I call “Optimal Green Living”. We share the planet with some amazing people. It’s not your business or my business to make their lives tougher, so ours can be easier.
Listen and look at your words today, tomorrow and forever. Are they words to build up your colleagues? Are you destroying a wonderful human resource by watching/tolerating bullying in the workplace?
This seems to be a “new normal” to treat people in ways to get our needs met with little regard for the spirit/souls of the other person.
Next time you think of the importance of “Going Green” consider whether you are really going for Optimal Green Living with your treatment of others just as important as saving the planet.
This may be another “Inconvenient Truth”. However, bullying in the workplace may need to be viewed with the same disgust, as we’d view a corporation, school, business, etc. that refused to consider going greeen.
Id’ love to know your thoughts on this one. Kudos to those of you , who inspired me to write about this topic.
Now go out and really “Go and Live Green”
Blessings,
Mary Ann
Posted: Life Coaching through My Blog
19
June
2009
As I write this blog, I’m watching “20/20″. The topic of the program is the subject of “What is the New Normal?” The focus of the program is about adjusting to the financial crisis in our country. Everyone has been effected/impacted by the economy. Many clearly saw their “house of cards” and “magical thinking” collapse, as they lived beyond their means, because they could.
It’s obvious that many people were living waay beyond their means and were overextended to the max! We don’t have a choice. People are hitting the reset button and regrouping. They know that they have to change. We’re adjusting to this “new normal” and changing our relationship with money and spending.
However, there is a “normal” that seems to be an accepted fact of life for many Americans, especially women, who are raising children. Women are living on “Overextended Energy”. They want their family to have a quality life and to give their children the best life possible. Their husbands also deserve a wife, who can manage a household and provide healthy meals. Extended family members also deserve their time and TLC. To maintain friendships, they respond to the needs of others. They feel lucky to have jobs, so they give it their all at work. The family is dependent on two incomes to finance their basic life needs and pay for college educations. It’s important that they stay employed and avoid the “downsizing monster”.
Women are nurturers and givers by nature. They also serve through their churches and other community commitments.
However, this overextension is leaving them running on fumes and living in perpetual “exhaustion, feeling tense, headaches”. As I mentioned in the last post, their body is communicating with them “ENOUGH ALREADY”.
If you are living this way, you’ll recognize yourself in this post. You are buying into the myth that others are living this way and
doing it well. 
During a coaching call this week, one Mom nailed it for all of us, who live with a “To Do” list that’s about a mile long.. Once she opened up, the pent up frustration of all that was on her plate led her to identify with the emotion of anger. Through coaching she shared that she needed to keep this up for her family. Interestingly, she mentioned that everyone else was doing it all, so she should be able to do the same.
She had a wonderfully fine tuned internal dictator pushing her to keep up the pace. However, when asked to name these women, who were pulling this amazing “plate spinning” Mom Act off, she couldn’t name one person. A reality TV star came to mind. Tori Spelling was her model of a woman, who could pull off everything. However, when asked about Tori and how her life was similar, it was obvious that Tori Spelling had a huge support system to pull off being “Super Mom”. Like you, my friend, 
had to admit that Tori had assistants, money, and all kinds of supports in place; while she didn’t have the funds to finance paying for a nanny and/or a personal assistant.
There is a sense of urgency in the air that we need to stay in the Mom Marathon and finish strong. Do you find yourself assuming that everyone else is doing it all and making it happen with plenty of energy?
Guess what?? That thought is a story. You’re buying into a myth that your fellow tribe of Moms are able to do it all and being all things for all people. The need to cut back on extras due to the financial crisis may contribute to your energy drain. The money for a cleaning service every other week had to be cut, so you take that on. No one was created to take on so much. If you’re living this way, you are overextending your energy. Listen to your body. Are you getting the signals that you are taking on waay too much?
“I have to do this” may be your belief. Who says you have to? In the famous words of Martha Beck, “You can bag it. You can barter it? You can better it?” It’s okay for you to ask for help. It’s reality and not a weakness that you need help. Begin by “bagging it”. Sure you’d love to bake cupcakes for the swim team snack, but it may be worth it to your energy to buy cupcakes at the grocergy store. You’re purchasing more energy, which is an expense that makes a huge difference in your quality of life.
If you’re living on overextended energy, take an inventory of what activities need to be eliminated. Reactivate your memory. Note three activities that fuel you. Put those in your schedule. They aren’t time wasters. These activities, even naps, are measures of self-care that keep you healthy. You are so worth it.
All comments are welcome to let us know how you’re dealing with overextension of energy. You have control of this. I don’t know anyone, who can do it all without totally burning out or ruining their health. Track your energy expense just as you track your spending habits. You are treating yourself to a gift that will last a lifetime.
Thanks for your votes on my blog. Go to http://www.schoolofcoachingmastery.com/best-coaching-blogs-2009/ to vote if you feel this is a great coaching blog.
Blessings,
Mary Ann
Posted: Life Coaching through My Blog
8
June
2009
Okay, true confessions time, I have given the same advice to different people, as if I were given them directions to the nearest grocery store. They each told me about a confusing scenario in their life. I told them to check in with their body compass. I asked them, “What does your body compass have to say about that?”
That’s really great advice for someone, who has read and listened to everything Martha Beck has to say. However, there are some people that haven’t had a chance to learn about this wonderful internal GPS system that we each come equipped with.
The other night on a coaching call with people, who were familiar with the term “Body Compass”, I was asked to explain how I really knew what my body was telling me. Responding with an “I just do” was really a pitiful answer.
Based on the work by Martha Beck in Finding Your Own North Star, she introduced me to a wonderful tool that will serve me the rest of my days. Our mind can easily be messed with through social programing and toxic thinking. However, there is one place within all of us that knows the truth about our life mission and destiny. I like to call it “The Seat of the Soul” after the popular book by Gary Zukav. We can’t program our body responses. Our body responds in its own way.
I know when I need to pay attention to my body compass when gremlin feelings pop up like fear, anxiety, jealousy, revenge, dread, etc. All those feelings signal that I’m in some kind of emotional pain. This usually means I’m engaged in an activity or doing something that might not be guiding me on my God given life path. I also notice that I start craving sugar and want to rush out to Krispy Creams to find the answer to my angst. However, the answer will never be found in a donut. At least, it never worked that way in my life.
The answer can be found when we stop and really pay attention and take inventory of our bodies responses. The food addiction that I just menitoned is my body’s way of telling me “This Ship is Pointed Due South”. That’s a huge no. If I’m considering taking a new job and I begin to crave even my toenails, that’s usually a sign that the job may be an incredible opportunity, but I will feel caged working in that environment. Fatigue, forgetting things, losing your social skills, tension in any part of your body are all ways of letting you know that you’re headed in the wrong direction. Your thoughts in your mind may have reached other conclusions. However, listen to your body, it will eventually win and steer you back on course. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: Life Coaching through My Blog
2
June
2009
Hi All,
Someone entered my blog in the best coaching blog contest. I’m honored, as this will bring more traffic to my blog. I also like to post good content that improves the quality of life for all my readers.
I will post something of substance later today. However, this blog is to ask each of you to go to the following site and vote for my blog. The top three blogs will receive a special badge to place on their blog.
Click this link: http://www.schoolofcoachingmastery.com/best-coaching-blogs-2009
In addition to going to the site and voting for my blog, it’s entered on page two of the site list of the blogs entered, I’d also appreciate any comments. Blogs get extra points when reader’s submit comments related to why they like this blog. Thanks so much for your help and taking the time to vote.
Send me an e-mail to let me know that you voted and I’ll send you a complimentary MP3 recording that I send to my clients titled:
“Replenishing Joy When Money is Tight”
My e-mail address is malowry@createanewseason.com
Thanks so much for reading “Create a New Season” and your continued comments.
Best to all,
Mary Ann Lowry
Posted: Life Coaching through My Blog
