Create A New Season

What is the “New Normal”?? Overextended Energy!

As I write this blog, I’m watching “20/20″.  The topic of the program is the subject of “What is the New Normal?”  The focus of the program is about adjusting to the financial crisis in our country.  Everyone has been effected/impacted by the economy.   Many clearly saw their “house of cards” and “magical thinking” collapse, as they lived beyond their means, because they could. 

It’s obvious that many people were living waay beyond their means and were overextended to the max!  We don’t have a choice.  People are hitting the reset button and regrouping.   They know that they have to change.   We’re adjusting to this “new normal” and changing our relationship with money and spending. 

However, there is a “normal” that seems to be an accepted fact of life for many Americans, especially women, who are raising children.   Women are living on “Overextended Energy”.   They want their family to have a quality life and to give their children the best life possible.  Their husbands also deserve a wife, who can manage a household and provide healthy meals.   Extended family members also deserve their time and TLC.   To maintain friendships, they respond to the needs of others.   They feel lucky to have jobs, so they give it their all at work.   The family is dependent on two incomes to finance their basic life needs and pay for college educations.   It’s important that they stay employed and avoid the “downsizing monster”.   

Women are nurturers and givers by nature.   They also serve through their churches and other community commitments.  

However,  this overextension is leaving them running on fumes and living in perpetual “exhaustion, feeling tense, headaches”.  As I mentioned in the last post, their body is communicating with them “ENOUGH ALREADY”.  

If you are living this way, you’ll recognize yourself in this post.   You are buying into the myth that others are living this way and

doing it well.   During a coaching call this week, one Mom nailed it for all of us, who live with a “To Do” list that’s about a mile long..   Once she opened up, the pent up frustration of all that was on her plate led her to identify with the emotion of anger.    Through coaching she shared that she needed to keep this up for her family.   Interestingly, she mentioned that everyone else was doing it all, so she should be able to do the same. 

She had a wonderfully fine tuned internal dictator pushing her to keep up the pace.   However, when asked to name these women, who were pulling this amazing “plate spinning” Mom Act off, she couldn’t name one person.   A reality TV star came to mind.    Tori Spelling was her model of a woman, who could pull off everything.    However, when asked about Tori and how her life was similar, it was obvious that Tori Spelling had a huge support system to pull off being “Super Mom”.    Like you, my friend, had to admit that Tori had assistants, money, and all kinds of supports in place; while she didn’t have the funds to finance paying for a nanny and/or a personal assistant.  

There is a sense of urgency in the air that we need to stay in the Mom Marathon and finish strong.   Do you find yourself assuming that everyone else is doing it all and making it happen with plenty of energy?    

Guess what??   That thought is a story.  You’re buying into a myth that your fellow tribe of Moms are able to do it all and being all things for all people.   The need to cut back on extras due to the financial crisis may contribute to your energy drain. The money for a cleaning service every other week had to be cut, so you take that on.    No one was created to take on so much.   If you’re living this way, you are overextending your energy.    Listen to your body.  Are you getting the signals that you are taking on waay too much?   

“I have to do this” may be your belief.   Who says you have to?  In the famous words of Martha Beck,  “You can bag it.  You can barter it? You can better it?”   It’s okay for you to ask for help.  It’s reality and not a weakness that you need help.  Begin by “bagging it”.   Sure you’d love to bake cupcakes for the swim team snack, but it may be worth it to your energy to buy cupcakes at the grocergy store.   You’re purchasing more energy, which is an expense that makes a huge difference in your quality of life.

If you’re living on overextended energy, take an inventory of what activities need to be eliminated.   Reactivate your memory.  Note three activities that fuel you.  Put those in your schedule.   They aren’t time wasters.  These activities, even naps, are measures of self-care that keep you healthy.   You are so worth it.  

All comments are welcome to let us know how you’re dealing with overextension of energy.   You have control of this.   I don’t know anyone, who can do it all without totally burning out or ruining their health.   Track your energy expense just as you track your spending habits.    You are treating yourself to a gift that will last a lifetime.  

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Blessings,

Mary Ann

Posted under: Life Coaching through My Blog